Ladies, Read on: The Truth about the Birds and the Bees (Part II)
The good news is, even though almost every man put a paramount importance on looks, different guys have different physical standards for beauty (albeit the degree of difference between what’s considered hot and what’s considered not is quite narrow because there exists a universal “guideline” to evaluate physical beauty in women). The even better news is that it is possible to offset the male’s emphasis on looks by banking on other qualities, such as personality, talent, fame and money. The ease of the substitution largely depends on the individual males.
But don’t get me wrong, a lot guys still put so much emphasis on the physical. If you have got the right looks and bodies, you could have won more than half the battles in winning most guys’ hearts. Yet, don’t mistake having the right “equipments” as a guarantee that you will win the war, for even if you have won 60% of the battle simply because of your looks, you can still lose 80% of it due to a massive lack of the other positive human virtues. Even though physical beauty is important, it is NOT the only quality men seek in women.
The best news is, I firmly believe that virtually every woman can look a LOT better than they currently do if they would simply try. It is simply amazing how much cosmetic technology has advanced. Problem is, a lot of women don’t even bother to try. And then they accuse us, men, of being shallow. It’s not our fault. We can’t help it. We don’t have any choice but to feel initial attraction to beautiful and sexy women. It is our wiring. Its built-in. We are helpless. We are also the victim of this tendency. Call us dogs. Call us pigs. It won’t change anything.
So ladies, please don’t try to fight it. Work around it. And truth be told, as long as a girl is above a certain standard of attractiveness (e.g. when most guys can say she is cute or attractive), the importance of looks will diminish greatly, and then it’s all about the personality and intelligence. And I think most women can certainly be considered attractive if only they would simply TRY.
Moral of the story: I hope the message is loud and clear. Ladies, beautify yourselves. Wear nice clothes. Accesorize. Study fashion. Visit your favorite beauty salon. Get yourself a manicure, pedicure, facial, etc. Wear perfumes. Use make up. Slim down, Work out. Sculpt your bodies. Take up aerobics, Pilates, Yoga, Tae-bo, and don’t forget to take a shower afterwards. Try to look as pretty as you can. After you have realized all your potential for physical beauty, maximize all other positive non-physical qualities. Be miss congeniality. Be as sweet as the Little Red Riding Hood. Be compassionate. Be sensitive. Be seductive. Be a millionaire. Be famous for curing AIDS. Be a celebrity. Win the Nobel Prize. I think I represent most guys when I say that we appreciate ladies who actually try and put the extra mile to be as pretty and as best as they can be. Most of us notice the extra effort and we value that highly. You can really score major brownie points here.
Guys, did I miss anything else? If I did, feel free to add in on the comments section. If there are some of you who would like to write me hate mails, please do so at the comments sections. Or if there are any ladies who want to thank me or send me love notes (only ladies are eligible to send love notes, guys are encouraged to express their admiration and gratuity in other forms), please do so as well.
Blazing Redfish
posted by Domain of the Blazing Redfish at 8:41 AM
36 Comments:
I totally agree on the beautifying oneself part. Thanks for this piece, I believe that most women need to be re-informed on the importance of looking nice once in a while hehe. Although, don’t go to the extreme. More often than not, simple is beautiful. Just make sure that you look the part (nay to over/underdressers), that’s enough.
As for guys, don’t be selfish. You expect us to be pretty but I frequently see those that don’t even bother to be clean. OK, for some people the rugged, unshaven looks really works. Flash news, for most of you, it’s totally failing. We understand that metrosexual look is not the thing for most of the male species. Wearing something pleasant and smelling nice don’t make you gay ;) That totally works for me.
One last thing, fashion no no for men: muscle tee!!! Eugh, this one guy I met yesterday, wearing one supposedly funky muscle tee…this clothing item is designed for those with actual muscle and not skinny skimpy guys.
9:58 AM
As a guy, I got to put on some "cosmetics" too. Maybe blazing's words are putting the women on the spotlight, but in reality, all of us is under the expectation to become as hot as Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie... ups... Jennifer Aniston. Yeah.. she is hotter. Anyway, when you are talking about Brad Pitt in his movie, Troy, do you talk about how good he acts... or how toned his body is?
Hence, my friend's guide book of pimping once said: If two men have same qualities, the better looking one will have total advantage in a "hot pursuit".
Moral of the little passage: There is no hurt in trying to look more presentable: for both men and women. As long as your effort is within what is moral according to your principle (as long as it's still feel like yourself after the "facelift"). :) All human is born ugly and stinky. That's why comb and toothpaste were invented.
10:16 AM
Guys, appreciate the comments very much. You guys always leave high quality comments.
I did post a comment about metrosexuality and started a discussion thread, but I think it is better for another entry. Of course, like amorphiz says, bad hygiene and messed up looks can only hurt. And as awijasa said, looking better will never hurt, it can only helps. But as long as guys meet a certain standard they will be fine, just dont make your looks or personal hygiene hurts your chances.
Women don't evaluate guys on looks so much. Rather, I think, what amorphiz was trying to say is, by looking messed up and dirty, guys are sending all the wrong message. And this is what turns women off. It says that they dont have attention to details, they dont care about themselves and their appearances, and that they are not classy or cultured.
12:26 PM
Men are not pigs, dogs, shallow, or whatever. But it is understandable why some people think so, given the degree that male sexual desire has been made into a pariah. Religions teaches us that desire is wrong, and that to make it right it must be suppressed or contained by "higher" virtues such as self-sacrifice, chivalry, loyalty, "sincerity", ad nauseum. That these same religious people are ascetics go unnoticed. That the people who preach higher virtues to us have a lot of guilt and fear regarding sex goes unnoticed.
As a result, entire generations of men are brought up to become prostitute seekers, when every woman looks like a WHORE to him because he believes that the only thing they want from him and that he can give, is his income earned through hard work and sweat.
- BTD
6:07 PM
By the way, I thought that muscle T's are wor by gay people?
-BTD
3:40 AM
what's a muscle tee, btw?
BTD, I totally agree with you. It is an indisputable fact that virtually all religions and most cultures in the world would preach that sexual desire is "the will of the flesh" and thus, impure or "evil". Not all of these religious people are ascetics, especially those who are protestant and moslem. Eventhough there are no real, good explanations why these desires are evil, this teaching still prevails.
But I think I miss the connection on why these teachings make women look like whores to men. Or why it makes men prostitute seekers. Please let us know your thoughts on this.
3:27 PM
i think A woman can and should be beautiful, and what a woman does with what she has is very important in making herself attractive. Physical beauty is really within the reach of any woman.
someone said 2 me that a woman is always trying to be pretty, coz when she is showered with attention , that's the time when woman feel more confident, n think that they r better than other women. so that's why woman keep trying to look better n better....
n 4 guys, i've met a lot of guys who doesn't care about fashion n beauty, u guys should works on that too!!!
9:04 PM
Oops, I forgot to explain that one. But from my own observations and experiences, the development of male sexuality is quite a complex one, but the overall effect is one in which male sexual worth is diminished.
A lot of guys are brought up to believe that the only legitimate way of being with a woman is to be in a marriage or otherwise long term arrangement. They are taught to do well in school and get a good job so that they can AFFORD a girlfriend or wife.
1. A lot of men begin to think this way: It is better to pay 200 bucks to ejaculate ONCE into a hooker than it is to devote the rest of your life and half your property to a woman just because you want sexual intimacy and companionship. Paying a hooker is hassle free compared to relationship management, which they were not taught in school or anywhere else.
2. The other primary effect of religious guilt and fear is that having only one legitimate way to express sexual desire is that other ways are considered illegitimate. Even within the "sanctity" of a marriage there is still a lot of fear and guilt regarding sex. Islam teaches that oral sex is wrong. I don't think that oral sex is ever mentioned in the Quran, but many Muslims believe this (and many do it anyway). Faced with a situation where many of their normal desires are considered "wrong", men begin to truly believe that. Thus you see the situation where men call themselves "dogs" or "pigs" and are actually ashamed to admit with pride and in public that they like to have sex with beautiful, healthy women. Sorry, I digressed. I meant that male sexual worth has been utterly destroyed and made subordinate to other ideas, and that is why many men do not have sexual pride and are willing to pay for prostitutes and do a thousand other things that demean themselves.
6:25 PM
^
You know? Since its already "wrong" to want to have sex, it is logical that they will do "wrong" things for it.
Pardon me if my writing is bad. As I'm writing this my mind is on other things. Urgh
- BTD
6:27 PM
"Not all of these religious people are ascetics, especially those who are protestant and moslem. Eventhough there are no real, good explanations why these desires are evil, this teaching still prevails."
They may not live like ascetics, but having ascetic values and ascetic guilt is enough to qualify themselves as one, in my opinion.
I think that ascetics are dogs that need to be beaten in public.
6:29 PM
BTD,
Right on the money. But the victim of this teaching is not only men. Women suffer from it as much as men do. Men who "express" themselves are revered highly by their peers as "players" or "ladies man" but when women do the same, they are called sluts and are frowned upon. Therefore, even though women have as much desire as men, they are very afraid of risking their reputation. Aint this true, ladies?
Btw, oral sex is also wrong according to catholicism. Using pills, condoms, and any other contraceptive devices besides the calendar are also sins. Having children is god's greatest gift and humans should not prevent that possibility. Instead we ought to multiply like rabbits.
I know this because I went to a very very religious school. It has the largest benedictine monastery and a seminary. In fact that was the world headquarter of the order of saint benedict. I had to study lots of catcholic theology. I almost became a monk there.
8:36 PM
Yes, women also suffer from the devaluation of their sexuality. Not only that, but women also suffer from the devaluation of male sexuality. The effects of both are far reaching for the human race.
But the difference is this.
While women have begun an irreversible process that liberates them from the evils of the past and allows them to achieve all that they can and live as they wish, men are still bound to the same old rules.
And being bound to the old rules will cost people.
9:20 PM
you mean cost 200 bucks?
3:06 PM
aiyo.... visit fav saloon n do the manicure n pedicure ?? wasting money, what??
n guys who always looks 4 appearance first r sucks!!
3:18 PM
Anonymous,
not only girls should get manicure and pedicure, but instead of "going tarzan", they should also shave their armpits. it is dangerous not to.
And what are guys supposed to look FIRST? girls' purse? Appearance is the only thing that is immideately available. The rest can take months or years to assess.
4:27 PM
You know, the first thing a girl notices about a guy is his appearance too.
Like the way he dresses. You could tell a lot about a man's personality by the way he dresses. Is he smart looking, does he have an edgy side, or did he wear shorts and pull his socks up to his balls?
And while women don't check to see if a guy has a manicure or pedicure, they do notice things like whether there is hair growing out of his nostrils or ears. They probably check the color of teeth too, as it's a good indicator of oral health. So guys, please floss.
My mother can tell the health of a guy with one look. She immediately notices subtle things such as the color of the face. Slightly green, jaundiced, or pale casts means a usually terminal or debilitating "internal" problem. :D
Eye bags under the eyes are analysed further. You can tell if it's caused by a lack of sleep, or something more serious, such as a vascular/ oedemic problem.
Then there is the way a man breathes. You can tell how fit a man is by the way he breathes.
Then there is posture. The first sign of a back problem and according to her folklore it's a sign of bad sex and impotency. :D
Now, imagine that a guy didn't know all these things, the extent to which first appearances matter. All he knows is how to go to Johor Bahru to have fun with the bargirls in the exclusive Karaoke bars where you pay RM 200 and above to ejaculate into a woman once. He is fucked for life. Without the karaoke bars, without his money, he is worth NOTHING.
That is the true cost of ignorance.
5:07 PM
Fuck, I wish I could edit comments. I wanted to add in stuff for further impact.
Such as those same prostitute seekers having smelly feet and terminal shortness of breath from smoking too many cigarettes, and bulging bellies that look as if they're pregnant with a basketball from drinking too much beer and not exercising.
You can tell the quality of a man by how he looks, because what he looks like shows how he lives his life.
5:10 PM
1. The nice men are ugly.
2. The handsome men are not nice.
3. The handsome and nice men are gay.
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
7. The handsome men without money are after our money.
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN? "Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
9:33 AM
My comment to the above comment:
1. The nice men are ugly. (In general probably true. But it is the same with girls. When people are not attractive they are "forced" to be nice).
2. The handsome men are not nice. (Maybe true about 50% of the time. Same with girls too. A lot of the beautiful ones are bitchy to most people. Beautiful people dont have to bother being nice. They can get away with their looks)
3. The handsome and nice men are gay. (This one is probably a joke).
4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. (Mostly true, especially if he has money. If he is not married, its either he does not want to marry yet, or having a very high standard).
5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money (This shows that girls have tendency to be materialistic).
6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. (Most probably, but can you blame them?)
7. The handsome men without money are after our money. (Hahahaha. This does not happen nearly as often as the reverse, which is a very common occurrence).
8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. (This affirms the validity of this post).
9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards. (Could be true depending what women expect from men. Even though most men lack confidence, it is not easy being a man)
10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! (Related to confidence issues above. And before blaming guys for lack of confidence, guys have to take all the risk in initiating relationships and risking getting shot down every step of the way. Women risks nothing and can reject men with the cruelest possible way without care, especially if they are beautiful. Ask every guy who are successful with women and they will tell you that they been shot down more than the Taliban airforce).
11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN? "Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." (If he is not making the first move, you make the first move and he lost interest, most likely that he never likes you in "that way" to begin with)
10:38 AM
While we're on the topic of dressing to impress. I believe the true test of a girl's beauty is how she looks in her "natural state" i.e without all the make up and form fitting clothes.
Any girl that can still look beautiful when the "peacocking is over" is definitely a keeper (taking personality into consideration also).
So fellas dont be fooled by all those pretty girls in the clubs and parties cause two things can happen when you see them without the "bling"
a) you think "damnit, is that her?"
b) you think "thank (insert your god) she really is cute"
10:56 AM
Lol Mikey!!! So your girl shouldn't shave her armpits? :D
12:28 PM
In a world where people are free to express their minds, we should not make fun of people's preferrence...
6:24 PM
LOL, I didn't say that anonymous... why would you think such a thing? Are you currently having issues with your girl not shaving under her armpits?.....
1:58 PM
Yes. :(
Her nipples have hair too.
X_X
8:06 PM
_ _
_ ehhhhhh???????????????????
8:56 PM
Wow... you guys have some caliber of women... I am very much out of your league. *bow*
8:58 PM
Ouch,the truth really does hurt....lol
9:49 PM
Guys, listen and pay attention to the above. It is coming from a hot female (tapi jangan gede kepala dulu ya). I think she used to do some modelling works in Germany...
Ladies, what do you think? Guys, are there anything you want to say to this?
10:09 PM
I meant to comment on Liebesvee statement about baggy pants. I ask whats wrong with them? They are comfortable. Girls have a mind of their own, they do not have to wear tight fitting clothes. If you chose to wear such tight clothes its of your own choice; be it to impress guys, to get more attention or because you want to. In addition, I hope men don't start wearin such tight pants that you can see their package thats disgusting and probably very uncomfortable. If you want to find out the size of the manhood you will have to take it for a test ride...hehehe
10:51 PM
Hi liebesvee:
We (the men) have been waiting to unleash our size to the public - by using those sexy tight pants, but it seems that the society will be so disgusted. Why would casual swimmers prefer to wear loose swimming pants? Why would a man who exposed his light saber in a subway be called sexual offender? I guess our light sabers are not as artistic as the counter-part.
11:00 PM
Liebesvee:
Blah blah blah, blah blah blah
"One inch longer, one inch stronger" ^_^
Blah blah blah, hee hee ^_^
-----
ROFL!!! :D
Look. It's no big secret that women love the cock. Liebesvee is an example of a girl that loves the cock. Perhaps too much, cause she can't wait and must see it immediately. But why should guys be afraid of this? I say that it's a good thing that women love cock. We should celebrate this as it means that our cocks will be loved more often, perhaps even in public.
Women do not only take note of length and gossip to their girlfriends about it. They also take note of the width, and other aesthetics such as colorization, symmetry, and veininess. They might not discuss the smell of cock though. I don't know. What I do know is that women like cock very much. Here is proof:
Walk down Orchard Road or any other metropolitan area and notice how the hot, dressed to kill, relaxed women are actively and casually looking around at the people around them. See how their eyes linger on the good looking guys.
These women are D.F.C.(tm). DYING for COCK.
When they see a hot guy, they observe him for a while. She wants to find out, "CAN HE GIVE ME THE COCK????!!??!!!!!!!!!!111ones". They won't stare at your crotch though, because your package is safely tucked away under two layers of cloth (or maybe just one), and they have enough sense than to try to stare a hole into your pants. Yes...women are smart. They also know that the bulge at the front of your pants may be nothing more than your shirt tucked into a bunch, or even maybe just a massive hernia.
But anyway, women love the cock very much. That's why in dance clubs they will grind their ass or thighs or even pussy against your hard on. They love the feeling of cock. When you go somewhere private and reveal your cock, the hands of your girl will gravitate towards it to grip it and grab it and give it a few pumps, because she wants a foretaste of what it will feel like inside her tight gripping vagina and her moist, inflammed pussy. She may even run the head of your cock on her palm or some other body part because women just LOVE the fleshy feel of an aroused cockhead.
I hate to say the obvious man, but I can't help it. I'm the guy who shouts out "An aeroplane! A truck!" when I see them passing by. But anyway.
Save your money and spend sperm on them instead. Let them tax nothing but your nuts. It's good for health you know. How do you think Sally Yeh looks so young? She drinks semen every day.
1:56 AM
I am not looking forward to celebrating lightsaber revolution... where they'll be exposed everywhere. But, women's ballistic parade would be cool. Women should be more open :)
Dude, all Asian look very young to White Americans, and I respect them for not thinking that we drink milk everyday.
8:05 AM
liebesvee, i cannot agree more. infact i hv a crush on this guy, he had a good look, but inside.. woof.. *no comment* hahaha. n yea.. man go to da gym to look more muscular. i think we're all da same, guys n girls "pay attention" on someone who is pretty inside out.
10:25 AM
I don't know whether I should believe liebesve or not. I just talked with my lady friend last nite and we were talking about this issue. Apparently, men and women are wired differently. Women, unlike men, are not visual. They are emotional creatures. So guys... if you wanna have sex with women, touch that inner emotions within them first. She also told me that once a woman fell emotionally to a guy, she would be happy to give all of her self. The thing is that, in order to make someone fall to you, you have to have handsome face, classic attitude, fat wallet, some credit cards, good social surroundings, intelligence, and fun. How you can get there is for you to figure out. Every person has their own way. I haven't found my way yet, so if any of you find it, gimme a holler. I'll be more than happy to be your disciple. Good nite now.
10:52 AM
Vaans, I just had to comment on your comment. I totally agree with most of what you said. Except this one thing: "The thing is that, in order to make someone fall to you, you have to have handsome face... fat wallet, some credit cards..."
handsome face, fat wallet and credit cards can certainly and in most cases are sufficient to get you laid like rockstar. But those are NOT required. A hydrogen bomb is certainly sufficient to kill my neighbor's pesky cat, but it is not necessary. Having power, money, and status would be enough to generate massive female attraction, the same way that a hot supermodel will attract males. But a large amount of money and stunning looks even though can greatly help, are not required to win the battle. There are many ways other ways to win the battle (and again, having money, power, and status is one way)
Although if your looks could make the Hunchback of Notre Dame feel like Tom Cruise, girls will be scared to be seen with you. Or if you completely lack any means of making a living, they will wonder what their future with you will be like.
Regardless. A massive majority of men and women have the potential to look a lot better then they are looking now. If you doubt this, look at the before and after pictures of the Singapore/Indonesian/American idol finalists. Or take a look at the before and after picture of Neil Strauss.
12:03 PM
Who the heck is Neil Strauss? Is he Seth Green's uncle??? Kannina!
5:27 PM
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